Chapter 28: Abandoned Hospital (Part 12)
After opening the medical record, the first words that Cheng Zhi Chu saw were the words “Xie Yuan Huai”. He had originally thought that it was Xie Yuan Huai’s medical records but, when he took a closer look, he saw that it was his own name written in the box where the patients name should be. The attending physician was also his doctor, Doctor Luo Wei. This was another medical record of his.
Realising that it was his own medical records, Cheng Zhi Chu was somewhat confused. Why would Xie Yuan Hai’s name appear on his medical record? What relationship does he have with this person?
And so, he started to read through the record from the very beginning.
【Medical condition description:
New symptoms have developed three months after the patient was admitted.
During the early stages of hospitalisation, the symptoms of the patients’ condition would involve him identifying another party as his lover or as someone who has a very close relationship with him. The target is not fixed, and the patient would have a tendency to choose good-looking men.
However, the patient has recently started to have an imaginary fixed target called Xie Yuan Huai.
Through investigation, Xie Yuan Huai was indeed someone who had existed. He used to be a patient at this hospital and had suffered from a congenital heart disease. When he passed away, his family refused to accept it, so they paid a lot of money for the hospital to store his body in the mortuary.
There was a nurse who took care of the patient who had also taken care of Xie Yuan Huai in the past. It is suspected that she may have spoken to the patient about Xie Yuan Huai’s matter leading to the patient generating an imaginary figure of Xie Yuan Huai and using it as a fixed target of affection.
For now, we have instructed the nurse to avoid speaking about Xie Yuan Huai’s matter in front of the patient and have advised the patient to stop responding to this illusionary figure. We hope that this can help with improving his condition.】
In his confusion, Cheng Zhi Chu once again started to see an illusionary image. The adolescent him was sitting on the patient bed and he saw Doctor Luo come into his ward and patiently ask him a few questions.
“Zhi Chu, I am very interested in this ‘new friend’ of yours.”
Doctor Luo looked at the boy with a gentle look, like those of a kind elder. He said compassionately: “Can you tell me about him?”
“Sure, Doctor Luo.”
The slender boy wore a loose hospital gown that revealed his thin and pale wrist and ankles. He sat on the edge of the bed with his legs hanging in the air. With his hands holding onto the edge of the bed, he leaned forward slightly and his eyes curved. His eyes that reflected a hint of the sunlight looked like a pair of clear crystal stones.
“Brother Yuan Huai is a really good person……. He’s very handsome and, although he doesn’t smile much, when he smiles he looks very charming. He takes good care of me. I really like him.”
“He’s a little introverted and would always be alone. Apart from me, he doesn’t seem to have any other friends. He also doesn’t seem to like to interact with other people.”
“When I first met him, he would always tell me not to get too close to him. I would chat with him, but he rarely responded. At that time, I was quite hurt by it.”
“But I really wanted to be his friend, so I pestered him every day. Brother Yuan Huai is a very gentle person so he couldn’t bear seeing me upset and we eventually became friends. Afterwards we even……”
When he reached this point, the young boy’s face suddenly turned red. He lowered his head and fiddled with his clothes awkwardly.
Doctor Luo could get the general gist of the situation. Seeing this reaction of his, he didn’t continue to probe any further and just raised his hand to rub the top of the young boy’s head while saying: “I understand. You should go rest now. I’ll see you again another day.”
The young boy nodded his head innocently.
After Doctor Luo left, the youth sat alone in the empty ward for a while. He suddenly heard the “creak” coming from the door and he looked up. When he saw the person entering, his eyes immediately brightened, and he quickly jumped off the bed to greet that person.
“Brother Yuan Huai!”
“What’s written on it?”
Meng Ke saw Cheng Zhi Chu holding onto the medical record in daze and gently poked his arm with some concern.
Cheng Zhi Chu woke up from his daze and quickly came back to his senses. He explained to Meng Ke: “This is another medical record of mine. It says that I started to talk about an imaginary person and that person is Xie Yuan Huai……”
Earlier in the mortuary he had already spoken about Xie Yuan Huai to the sisters and Ji Yun Xiao so Meng Ke also knew about this person called Xie Yuan Huai. The moment she heard this, her eyes widened.
“I think,” Cheng Zhi Chu stored away the medical record, “that I might have met Xie Yuan Hua’s ghost and established some sort of connection with him but the doctors probably thought that he was just something that I had conjured in my mind and he actually didn’t exist. Later………”
“Tap, tap, tap tap……………”
Suddenly, in the quiet corridor they heard something falling onto the ground. It quickly drew their attention over.
Cheng Zhi Chu looked back and saw a few glass marbles roll across the floor over to him and then stopping right next to his feet without any resistance.
The bear looked down at it with curiosity and then climbed out of the pocket. After sliding down Cheng Zhi Chu’s leg, it moved to pick up the colourful glass marble before carefully giving it a sniff.
However, the moment it did this it appeared to become extremely frightened. All the hair on its body trembled and it immediately threw the glass marble far, far away. It clutched tightly onto Cheng Zhi Chu’s calf and desperately tried to hide inside his pants to hide its existence. It was scared to the point that its entire body trembled in fear.
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The fleeting call was once again heard. This time, it seemed to be coming from somewhere close, as if the source of the sound was right next to them. Cheng Zhi Chu’s expression changed, and he immediately stood up. With one hand moving to put the bear inside his pocket, he used the other hand to pull at Meng Ke’s arm to urge her to run away.
Meng Ke was a little stunned. She hadn’t heard anything and didn’t understand why Cheng Zhi Chu would suddenly show this kind of reaction, but she could tell that something must have happened, so she didn’t hesitate to follow after him.
However, at this moment Cheng Zhi Chu suddenly had a strong dizzy spell. His body immediately went soft and he fainted directly to the ground.
“Ah, Cheng Zhi Chu? Cheng Zhi Chu!”
Meng Ke was shocked. She tried to shake awake the unconscious Cheng Zhi Chu. The bear inside his pocket had also climbed out and started to desperately pat his face while letting out a soft whine.
But at this moment, Cheng Zhi Chu couldn’t hear their voices at all.
His consciousness had become completely immersed in layers and layers of illusions and he could no longer wake up.
“Tap, tap……tap tap tap……….”
In the beautiful and spacious hospital courtyard was a young boy in a hospital gown. The young boy panted as he chased after the glass marble rolling in front of him.
There was a slight slope in the ground and the glass marble rolled very fast. With the young boy wearing oversized slippers, he had difficulty keeping up with the marble.
Although the glass marble may look very ordinary and it didn’t seem like it was worth the effort to chase after it, to the young boy it was a good luck charm that the kind nurse sister had gifted him to wish him a speedy recovery. To him, it had a special meaning so no matter what he didn’t want to lose it.
The glass marble suddenly collided against the bottom of a flower bed and stopped rolling.
The young boy rushed over and bent down to pick it up. He quickly rubbed away the dirt and confirmed that it wasn’t cracked before breathing a sigh of relief and then carefully storing it back inside his pocket.
He raised his hand to wipe away the thin layer of sweat that had formed on his forehead. His cute and charming face had become flushed and he parted his lips slightly as he gasped softly for air.
After a while, he looked up and, just as he was about to stand up, he suddenly saw a figure standing silently next to the flower bed.
That person was standing against the light so he couldn’t clearly make out his appearance. His body was thin and slender, and he wore a pure white hospital gown. With pale and almost transparent complexion, he reached down to brush his hand against a flower. That hand of his was slender with distinct bony contours and it looked particularly delicate and beautiful.
The young boy’s gaze was attracted by that hand of his and he was suddenly curious about the other person’s appearance. He raised his hand to cover the sun in front of him and squinted while slowly standing up. Only then did he finally manage to see the other persons face.
It was a young man with a very handsome and beautiful appearance. It was to the point that it even looked a little seductive. His eyes however were cold and indifferent, like cold ice. It was clear and icy, and it even exuded a hint coldness from within. With one look, you could tell that he was someone that was difficult to approach.
His gaze swept over the young boy and he paused for a moment, but he then continued to look around as if the boy was just another part of the scenery in this hospital courtyard and was nothing special that needed his attention.
The young boy saw his face and was filled with admiration. In an instant, he felt a burst if attachment and love. He wanted to get closer to the other person and let that person fall in love with him.
“Hello……….” The young boy subconsciously grabbed onto the other persons shirt and asked both shyly and eagerly, “Are you also a patient here?”
The handsome man’s body stiffened for a second and his eyes stopped at the boys’ hands that was grabbing onto the corner of his shirt. After a moment of silence he asked: “You can see me and can…..touch me?”
“You’re here so why can’t I see you?”
The young boy was a little confused by this question of his. But after thinking about it, this beautiful big brother is also a patient here so he probably also some special illness causing him to ask questions like that. Thinking this, he no longer found it strange.
This small question of his was tossed aside by the young boy and he continued to look at the man with eyes of curiosity.
Although he had also faintly realised that his illness may have started again, he couldn’t control himself. He just wanted to get to know this big brother and get close to him
“My name is Cheng Zhi Chu,” He started to introduce himself happily, “What about you big brother? What’s your name?”
The response was just long silence.
The handsome and cold man lowered his eyes and looked at the young boy pulling at his hand. A small ripple passed through his calm and indifferent eyes.
He opened his mouth slightly seemingly wanting to say something, but he eventually gave up and just slowly pried away the young boys’ hands. Without saying a word, he shook his head. The rejection behind those actions of his was self-evident.
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The young boy stopped and then lowered his hand with disappointment. He had an extremely hurt look.
Clearly, they had only just met but the young boy was acting like he was rejected by his beloved. In an instant, his eyes went red and he gently sniffled. Little beads of tears slowly leaked out from his eyes.
“……..Am I really that annoying?”
He asked in a soft whimper as he wiped a way his tears. He quickly turned and faced away from the man.
That’s true. Even his family doesn’t like him. Apart from the gentle Doctor Luo and the nurse sisters, who would like someone like him?
“I’m sorry. I’ll leave now. I was just picking something up……….”
“………….Xie Yuan Huai.”
Just as the boy wanted to leave, he suddenly heard the man behind him speak up.
The boy looked back with surprise. His red-tinged eyes were still stained with tears and, a little dumbfoundedly, he watched the other person slowly walk over to him. The other person stretched out his pale, jade-like fingers and used it to gently wipe away his tears.
“Xie Yuan Huai. My name.”
His voice was very clear and cold, but it also seemed to contain some warmth. Like this, he repeated himself.
The young boy liked to call Xie Yuan Huai “Brother Yuan Huai.”
But every time he called Xie Yuan Huai this, he noticed that the other party would always show a strange expression.
“You don’t like me calling you this?” The boy asked him cautiously. “If you don’t like it, I…….”
“…….That’s not it. It just feels a little,” Xie Yuan Huai paused for a moment and carefully selected his words, “a little too intimate.” He then added, “But it’s up to you. I don’t have any problems with it.”
He understood. In fact, Brother Yuan Huai brother was just finding it awkward…..
The young boy rubbed his nose. He didn’t find it awkward at all and even liked that way of calling very much. Brother Yuan Huai sounded very nice to the ears and he felt that he suited that name.
He also mentioned to Xie Yuan Huai that he could call him Xiao Chu. Some of the nurse sisters here would call him that but Xie Yuan Huai had never called him this using this name. Perhaps he also found it awkward to use.
Why won’t brother Yuan Huai let them get closer……..
Even now, he didn’t know which ward brother Yuan Huai stayed in and he also never had the chance to go visit him. They basically only met at the flower bed.
Thinking this, the young boy couldn’t help but feel a little upset. He could tell that Xie Yuan Huai’s temperament was a little cold and that he didn’t like to talk much. Sometimes he would need to say ten sentences and Xie Yuan Huai may not even respond with one.
Although, Xie Yuan Huai once did say that he didn’t reply mainly when there are people around. If he was to continue talking to him, the others would think that he is strange.
The boy however didn’t understand why Xie Yuan Huai would say this, but he also didn’t care. At that time, he just smiled and said: “It doesn’t matter. Anyway, the others have already long regarded me as a strange person.”
When he finished saying this, he lowered his head and fiddled with his shirt. With a weak voice, he mumbled: “I’m originally sick, and even my parents think I’m strange, so it really doesn’t matter…….”
“You’re not strange.”
Xie Yuan Huai suddenly lifted his chin and looked at him with an extremely solemn expression. He then repeated himself with emphasis on each word.
“You’re not strange. You’re special.”
“You are a special child.”
“The one and only in this world. The unique one. That’s you, Cheng Zhi Chu.”
When the boy recalled those words that Xie Yuan Huai said at the time, he suddenly felt a little shy and couldn’t help but giggle. Burying his face in his arms and only revealing his lively eyes like a cat, he secretly looked at Xie Yuan Huai.
They were still at the flower bed where they first met. The boy lifted his legs and hugged his knees as he sat on one side of the bench and Xie Yuan Huai sat on the other side looking at the flowers in the distance. His gaze was very light, but it was charming and had the ability to attract the looks of others.
Brother Yuan Huai praised him and said that he’s special but, in fact, he is the one that’s most special.
He really likes brother Yuan Huai…….
The young boy’s gaze at Xie Yuan Huai gradually softened and he felt his heart starting to pound rapidly. He suddenly felt the desire to get Xie Yuan Huai’s touch, hug and even his kiss and love.
“Brother Yuan Huai………”
He whispered softly. He released his hold of his legs allowing it to fall back off the bench and then slowly leaned towards Xie Yuan Huai.
Hearing his voice, Xie Yuan Huai turned around and suddenly saw the young boy move closer with a soft gaze filled with longing. He then felt a pair of soft lips gently press onto his face.
Xie Yuan Huai widened his eyes slightly. The usually calm expression of his went through some changes and a hint of surprise could be seen.
For a moment, he was so dumbfounded that he had even forgotten to avoid it. The boy thought that he didn’t dislike the kiss and was very happy. His cheeks flushed a bright red and he spoke up nervously and shyly.
“I like you brother Yuan Huai…….”
It’s just that brother’s body is so cold. Even his face is cold……..Is his body temperature that low?
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Just as the boy worried about Xie Yuan Huai’s body condition and waited for his response, Xie Yuan Hai returned to his senses. His expression changed slightly and he moved to gently push the boy away. While shaking his head he said in a quiet voice:
“……..Don’t do this.”
The expression on the boys face stiffened.
Seeing this type of reaction from him, Xie Yuan Huai felt a small tinge of pain in his chest. Just as he wanted to say something, the boy showed a very flustered expression. Looking as if he was about to cry, he stood up from the bench and then waved his hand while saying:
“Sorry brother Yuan Huai. I definitely made you hate me now……..”
“Did you find it very disgusting? To be liked by me……..In fact, it’s because of this that my family think’s I’m strange.”
He forced a smile. Every word that was spoken after that was said with great difficulty.
“I like men.”
After he said this, he didn’t wait for Xie Yuan Huai’s response. He immediately and very pathetically fled from the courtyard and rushed back to his ward. Buried in his blankets, he cried for a very long time.
He believed that with Xie Yuan Huai now knowing the truth about him, he would definitely hate him. He didn’t dare to venture near the flower bed, let alone even take a step outside his room.
One day, he was sitting by the window gazing at the scenery outside when he suddenly heard the sound of the door to the room being opened. He thought that it was probably one of the nurse sisters coming over to talk to him and he immediately revealed a joyous expression. When he looked back and saw clearly the person walking in, his expression stiffened.
“Long time no see Cheng Zhi Chu. Looks like you’re living very comfortably.”
A few boys around the same age as Cheng Zhi Chu entered the room. The handsome young boy standing at the front of the group had a scornful smile on his face. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the boy hiding in the bed with interest.
“Why are you here……..”
The boy trembled and his face was pale. These people were his classmates and they were also the same people who had bullied him.
This was especially the case for Qiao Yue who was sitting next to him. Because he is a young master coming from a rich family and is also very good at fighting, he was the head of all these people. Ever since he learned of his sexual orientation, Qiao Yue would always insult him and let him suffer the ridicule from everyone at school.
He had thought that with his hospitalisation, he would be able to escape from these demons, but he didn’t think that Qiao Yue and the others would actually go out of their way to find him.
The boy was scared, and he wanted to cry out for help. Qiao Yue however covered his mouth and pressed him down onto the bed. With his whole body pressing down onto him, the corners of his lips curved upwards and he revealed an evil smirk.
“Did you think that everything was over with you taking a break from school? You don’t even know how bored I was when you’re not at school.”
“So, I got the address of the hospital from the teacher and came over to visit you. I didn’t expect to see you living in the psychiatric department though. It really suits you, little crazy bastard.”
Qiao Yue laughed scornfully and he gestured for the others to leave after putting down their visitation gifts.
Because he didn’t have his full attention on the boy, the boy started to struggle desperately. He bit heavily onto his hand and tried to flee from the bed.
“Sss…..You dare bite me? You must really be crazy!”
Qiao Yue’s expression immediately darkened. With violent force, he pushed the boy back down. The boys’ eyes were red, and he struggled desperately but compared to Qiao Yue’s strength, his strength was like those of a kitten. It was completely useless.
Being so fiercely resisted by the boy and even getting bitten by him, Qiao Yue was completely enraged. No one had dared to hurt him, and this piece of trash had actually had to courage to do that after just some time away from school. Looks like this bastard really needs to be taught a lesson.
He raised his hand and just as he was about to give him a hard slap, he suddenly noticed the appearance of the youth under him and his movements suddenly stiffened.
The youth was curled up under him with his eyes wet with tears. His expression was terrified, and his delicate face had become ghostly pale. Because of the fierce struggle earlier, his hospital gown had become a mess and a few buttons had even fallen off to reveal his snow-white shoulder and slender waist. There was even a bright red mark on his waist.
Qiao Yue swore internally. The rage inside him had mostly dissipated and he retracted his hands in annoyance.
In fact, he really did come with the intention to visit Cheng Zhi Chu. Otherwise, only an idiot would bring along with him so many gifts. But he couldn’t step down from his throne and could only continue showing a bad attitude. In the end, he was angered to the point that he almost really taught this piece of trash a lesson.
He had actually never hit Cheng Zhi Chu before, but this idiot actually claimed everyday that he was being violent to him. Fuck. He was just teasing him. If he was really being violent to him, he would have already been beaten to the point that he can no longer do anything in life. Looks like he had become braver now and he even had the nerves to bite him……….
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Thinking this, Qiao Yue gave the boy a fierce glare but when he took in the boys exposed skin as well as his pitiful and cute crying face, his angry look gradually faded, and it was replaced with a slightly parched throat.
“Cheng Zhi Chu……..”
He licked his lips. Holding onto the boys two wrists, he pressed it down above the boy’s head. Then then pressed him down onto the bed. His gaze was hot, and his breathing started to become a little rough.
However, at this moment there was a soft sound coming from the ceiling. Along with a “bang” the light tube fell and just happened to fall onto Qiao Yue. The glass shards scattered everywhere with several of them plunging into his flesh.
“Thank goodness you’re not hurt.”
The nurse stroked the boys face that was still covered in tears. Thinking back to the scene from earlier that she came across when she came into the room with Qiao Yue on the ground groaning in pain and the boy looking completely terrified, she couldn’t help but feel very distressed. At the same time, she was amazed that one person could be hurt so terribly while the other wasn’t hurt at all.
“It must be karma. That bastard used to bully you and he finally got his retribution……….”
She whispered quietly and felt a little pleased.
Before, she had thought that this Qiao Yue guy was Zhi Chu’s friend so she happily let them in but, as it turns out, this handsome young man was actually the chief culprit that bullied Zhi Chu —— He really didn’t understand that the harm brought to people verbally can be far worse than physical violence.
As for how the hospital should compensate Qiao Yue, that was something for the dean to deal it. It has nothing to do with a little nurse like her.
“You must have been scared. Have some rest, I won’t bother you anymore.”
After confirming that the boy was indeed not injured and confirming that Doctor Luo would come tomorrow to check on his mental condition, the nurse once again internally cursed at Qiao Yue before leaving the room and gently closing the door behind her.
The boy had changed into a new hospital gown and was curled up in bed. He was tired and drowsy, but he was also still a little scared.
Just as he was in a half-asleep state, he suddenly felt a cold breeze. It sobered him up and he opened his eyes in confusion.
In the dim lighting he saw a handsome and cold man standing next to his bed looking down at him.
“Brother Yuan Huai? Why are you here?”
The boy turned on the bedside lamp. His first reaction was surprise but when he recalled what had happened the other day and Xie Yuan Huai’s cold reaction, he was then scared. He subconsciously shrank inside his blankets fearing that Xie Yuan Huai would show a disgusted expression.
“…….Why haven’t you come to find me?”
After a long silence, Xie Yuan Huai suddenly spoke up.
“……..?” The boy revealed a confused expression.
“Why………are you still hiding from me even now?”
Xie Yuan Huai suddenly raised his head. His expression was no longer indifferent like it was in the past and there was a hint of anger on his handsome face. But compared to the anger, his expression was more of a hurt and disappointed expression.
“That day you said you liked me. After saying that, you just left me behind. You…. Have you ever considered my feelings?”
“………….” The boy opened and closed his mouth. He didn’t understand why Xie Yuan Huai would be angry. He left because he was taking into consideration Xie Yuan Huai’s feelings…….
“Brother Yuan Huai, you- you don’t hate me?”
After thinking about it for a long time, the boy suddenly realised what Xie Yuan Huai’s words meant. However, he wasn’t certain, so he shrank himself and asked with some hesitancy.
“Why would you think that I would hate you……”
Xie Yuan Huai answered with a gentle tone. He sat on the edge of the bed and this time the boy didn’t hide from him. He smoothly approached the boy and gently held the boy’s face.
“At that time, I just thought that I am not qualified to approach you. You have a bright future but I……..”
Have nothing left.
His fingers were cold like ice. It caused the boy to shiver and he felt a chill run through his body.
But even with this reaction, Xie Yuan Huai didn’t let go. Instead, he moved closer and gently kissed him on the corner of his lips.
In fact, when they met the first time he had already fallen deeply in love with this young boy.
Was it love at first sight? Or was it unexplainable fascination? It wasn’t important —– His existence. Only this boy could see and touch him. So, his entire being and existence belongs to this boy.
He was originally satisfied with just this. Just as he said earlier, he wasn’t qualified to have the boy so he thought that he would be satisfied just being by his side.
But after waiting in the courtyard for a whole day and not seeing the boy, a small crack formed in his heart. Dark twisted greed and desire formed, and it whispered to him——-
[Don’t be so hypocritical.]
[You want him.]
[You want his love. You long for him to look only at you.]
[No one. No one can take him away from you.]
[He is yours alone.]
………..Yes. His Zhi Chu. His Xiao Chu. Only his. He can only be his.
Xie Yuan Huai kissed the corner of the boys’ lips and it gradually become more and more fierce. With his arms around the boys’ waist, he pressed him down onto the bed and he started to kiss him deeply on his lips.
The eyes that were originally cold and indifferent had become dark and oppressive. It was as it if was about to become a deep abyss.
When he came to his room and saw that boy pressing his Xiao Chu down onto the bed, he couldn’t suppress his inner darkness. He made the light tube fall, scattering blood across the room.
———- Don’t touch his Xiao Chu.
“Good Xiao Chu. In the future, don’t pay attention to the others okay?”
During the intense intertwining of their lips and tongues, Xie Yuan Huai moved back slightly to give the boy a chance to catch his breath. He watched the boy and couldn’t help but move in again to kiss his eyes. With a hoarse voice he said:
“Just having brother Yuan Huai is enough.”
“Be good. With brother here taking care of you, you don’t need anyone else anymore.”
Bai Yi’s Diary (Part 28)
When I encounter something related to Zhi Chu, I would easily fall into madness.
I have once thought that it would be nice if there is no other person left in this world leaving only Zhi Chu and I. That would be the most perfect world.
But after my soul was broken, I never had that thought again.
What perfect? That would simply be the worst world.
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KK has something to say:
Dammit, I know Bai Yi X Cheng Zhi Chu is OTP (and I love them to bits) but I can’t help but ship these two together as well…..
(Then again, they are the same person….🤔)